so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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