fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize