just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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