There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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