..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
