You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
