I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
