The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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