I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Never underestimate the power of titties
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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