Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
