return my video game
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
