Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
