Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
