so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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