Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
