you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
