therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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