She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
