I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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