Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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