i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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