If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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