so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
