Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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