i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize