Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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