I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
