is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
