You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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