that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
