I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In America we eat man semen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
