FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
