I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
