I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
