So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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