Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
