I wish i was in the wii world.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
