Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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