Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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