I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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