ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
