I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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