where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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