he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i will never coherently bang her
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
