This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
