i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
