the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
