in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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