i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know her cup size but not her name....
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