a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize