I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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