We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize