is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
