I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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