Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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