then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize