So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
