I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
