I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
