she was so not down for the gang bang
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
