i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
