Kiss
Puke
I can tuck mytits in my pants
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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