Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize