fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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