bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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