this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
