"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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