I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
