When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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