In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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