this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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