I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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