I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
