I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
