sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
