airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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