Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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