why didn't you poke me back
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
